Ms. Pat Talks Ms. American Dream, Emmy Nods & Success

BOSSIP’s Liz Smith had the opportunity to sit down with Ms. Pat to discuss the book, the process of revisiting her journey, being a Black woman in a male-dominated comedy industry, and what the American dream looks like for her now.

When asked why this was the right time to tell the next chapter of her story, Ms. Pat said people deserved to hear about more than the hardships she survived.

“I truly, you just can’t tell all the bad parts of life. You know, people want to know what you went through, but they also want to know where you’re headed to. So I was like, you know, it’s time to tell people that I’m okay, and, you know, my life, my career has been successful. I’ve done a few things that I never thought I’d get a chance to do, and I just want to let people know that no matter where you, it doesn’t matter how you start. It’s about how you finish. And so I think people who’ve been with me from the start is really out there cheering me on all the way to the finish line, and they want to hear about it. You know, I’m not a private person, but I ain’t gonna tell you every damn thing. But this book do tell you a little bit more than I probably would have shared on social media.”

While her rise may look like a classic rags-to-riches story from the outside, Ms. Pat’s definition of the American dream has little to do with money, fame, or material possessions. For her, real success is found at home.

“Happiness. It’s happiness. Materialistic things cannot make you happy. Look how many times rich people get divorced. Look how— just look at people who got it all and still not happy. And I was just telling somebody today, the guy who created Apple, Steve Jobs. He made that whole video. It’s the things he wished he could have done, and it was all about happiness. Money don’t make nobody happy. You know, Miss Pat is a character. But when I walk in this house as Patricia Williams Lee and I hear my kids and my grandkids at the table playing, cheating on each other with Uno, and I hear my husband yelling in the background and we’re arguing and we’re eating, that’s happiness. Money can’t buy any of that. And that’s really what the American dream should be about.”

Of course, getting to that place was far from easy. Ms. Pat entered a comedy industry that was largely white and male while carrying fears and beliefs about race that had been planted during her childhood.

“Well, my mama taught me one of the most dangerous things you can ever teach a Black child. My mama taught me, she said, White people are better than you. Never look them in the eye, they’re the devil. So when I moved to this all-white town, I immediately hear my mama all the time telling me that these people are better than me, but they’re the devil. And so I have this conversation with my husband, and he made me realize that we all the same. So I had so many hurdles to climb because of what my mama had taught me about a certain group of people. You know, evil don’t have no color. It don’t. But I wasn’t taught that. I was just taught white people was evil.”

Those beliefs initially left her questioning whether white audiences were laughing with her or at her. Eventually, she realized that the difficult circumstances she joked about were not exclusive to one race.

“So when I was doing my comedy in front of them, it made me, you know, I was like, Well, are they laughing at me? Are they laughing with me? Do they understand what I’ve been through? Then I realized I’m a little Black girl that came out of poverty. Poverty don’t have a race. True. It don’t have a race. It’s Black, white, it’s every color. Right. And the reason why these people could relate to me, because most of them had been through what I’ve been through, or known someone who had been through it. Right. You can only laugh at what you can relate to. So, you know, I had to get over that hurdle.”

That ability to turn trauma into comedy did not come without confronting the shame she once carried. When asked how she knew she was ready to discuss painful subjects without crying or feeling embarrassed, Ms. Pat explained that she first had to accept every part of herself.

“You know, I had to learn to stop being ashamed of where I was from and what I had been through, and stop trying to please the world. I had to learn to be okay with the people that hurt me and the situation that I was born into. I mean, I was a teenage mom at one point, I was embarrassed. I dropped out of school in the eighth grade. I didn’t want people to think I was uneducated. So I just had to start to love myself. And I think I started to do that before I really became a comedian.”

Surprisingly, Eminem’s 8 Mile helped her develop the fearless approach that would become her comedic calling card.

“And so I remember watching 8 Mile, and then when Eminem told all his business, that rapper had nothing left. And I said, Well, that’s what I’m gonna do in comedy. If I say it all, then you can’t talk about me. Can’t nobody say sh*t about Ms. Pat, ’cause Ms. Pat have already said everything about herself. You can’t sneak and say, Oh, she going through menopause. I talk about it on stage! I own everything that I’ve been through.”

That unapologetic honesty is also at the heart of The Ms. Pat Show, which has earned four Emmy nominations. But while Ms. Pat appreciates the recognition, she made it clear that she does not need a trophy to validate her talent or success.

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t need no trophy to tell me who the f**k I am. And I tell my co-creator that all the time. But it would be good. I said, but we’re the people’s choice, and the people put us here. Not an Emmy. They turn on that TV for six seasons and watch the hell out of this show. Not nobody at the Emmy Academy, and I’m not knocking that, but I don’t need, I don’t need a trophy to solidify who I am or what I do.”

In true Ms. Pat fashion, she then brought the conversation back to the business of show business.

“I don’t care nothing about no trophy. I tell him, I argue my co-creator all the time: did the check clear? I don’t give a fuck about no award. They’re gonna sit in no corner and gonna turn color after five and ten years. Did the check clear?”

Between the memoir, stand-up comedy, radio and television, Ms. Pat has already accomplished more than she once believed was possible. When asked if there was another version of the American dream she was still chasing, she said she is content with the life she has built.

“Nah, I’m good. I mean, what? I mean, I’m 54 years old. I mean, American dream to me would be probably to go out the country again, but I can do that at any time. So no, I’m happy, Liz. I’m straight. You know, I got my family. I’ve done things that I wanted to do.”

There is, however, one major goal still sitting on her bucket list.

“You know, I mean, the only thing left on my bucket list is to one day sell out arenas. Because a lot of women do not get to be arenas. They put men in arenas all the time, but women don’t. So that’s one of the things on my bucket list. I want to work really hard to get into arenas. I’m in theaters when I want to be, but we can do theaters, but I don’t think I know a woman who sold out an arena.”

Ms. American Dream is available wherever books are sold. Fans can also tune into to the sixth season of The Ms. Pat Show, which has officially been renewed and moved from BET+ to Paramount+.