- Ashia believes her faith and biblical guidance led her to Maxwell.
- Ashia and Maxwell made a intentional decision to commit, beyond just romantic feelings.
- Ashia had to navigate cultural differences and immigration challenges with her Nigerian partner.
For Ashia Montgomery, finding love with Maxwell Okeke was not simply a matter of swiping right. The 90 Day Fiancé star says she believes faith, preparation, and a series of spiritual confirmations led her to the relationship she had been praying for — despite messy online opinions about it.
Now that viewers are watching that journey unfold, however, Montgomery is also learning what happens when a deeply personal love story becomes public conversation.
“Stressful,” Montgomery told BOSSIP’s very own Lauryn Bass, when asked how it feels to have audiences weighing in on her relationship. “I thought it was like wonderful, and I think I’m a cute girl. I think I have a great personality. I think I’m likable, but girl—they hate me.”
While the online reactions may have caught her off guard, Montgomery remains confident about the relationship at the center of the criticism.
Ashia Says Faith Led Her To Maxwell
Montgomery said she and Okeke connected through Tinder after she began feeling her future husband wouldn’t be someone she met close to home.
She eventually signed up for Tinder, Bumble and Christian Mingle while trying to remain open to where love could find her. According to Montgomery, Okeke had separately felt that his future partner would be from the South.
The two eventually crossed paths online.
For Montgomery, Okeke’s faith immediately separated him from men she had dated in the past.
“Religion,” she said. “I dated good-looking men, I dated wealthy men, but it was not working. I was just like, Lord, they’re always missing that spiritual connection.”
Before meeting Okeke, Montgomery said she had already entered what she viewed as a season of preparation. She described learning to cook and clean while trying to ready herself for marriage, but one of the strongest parts of that preparation came through repeatedly reading the Book of Esther.
“God literally told me, go to Esther, go to Esther,” Montgomery said. “I read Esther. I know 30–40 times because I thought I was going to save a kingdom.”
She initially believed the biblical message might be directing her toward missionary or evangelism work. She says a notification appeared on her screen reading, “Here comes the bride.”
That moment changed her interpretation.
The Couple Made A Choice Beyond Their Feelings
Ashia, 39, and Maxwell, 29, have also faced questions surrounding their 10-year age difference, including concerns from members of Maxwell’s family.
Montgomery said she and Okeke had extensive conversations about what committing to one another would require. Rather than building their future solely around romantic feelings, she said she approached the relationship as an intentional decision.
“I’m not gonna go off feelings because if you go off feelings, you fall in love, you fall out in love,” she said. “But I was like, when I tell you I make this choice, like that is it.”
For Montgomery, that meant evaluating what both people brought to the relationship and deciding whether they were willing to remain committed.
Outside opinions have still created tension.
She said members of Okeke’s family questioned whether her age could affect the couple’s ability to have the four or five children they envisioned for him, an expectation Montgomery said neither she nor Maxwell shares.
“No way am I having four or five kids,” she said. “Like Maxwell doesn’t even want four or five kids.”
Montgomery also pushed back against concerns from her own circle surrounding stereotypes about Nigerian men and scams, arguing that people should evaluate Okeke as an individual rather than reducing him to assumptions about his nationality.
Her mother, she said, had a much different reaction.
“My mom she fell in love with Maxwell day one,” Montgomery said. “She my ride or die, she my cheerleader, so like she just want me to be happy.”
Nigeria Introduced Ashia To A Different Pace Of Life
Traveling to Nigeria also gave Montgomery the opportunity to experience Okeke’s culture firsthand.
She said one of the biggest things she appreciated was the amount of emphasis placed on spending time with other people.
“There’s so much interaction where they’re you’re with your friends, you’re with your family, you’re at work,” she said.
Montgomery contrasted that experience with what she sees as a more individualistic culture in the United States, where career goals and constant productivity can sometimes come before maintaining a social life.
There was at least one cultural adjustment that proved harder to embrace: the food.
“Girl, I’m a foodie, so I didn’t know this food for me. It’s hot,” Montgomery said. “The food is spicy, and I don’t like spicy food.”
Wedding traditions required more serious conversations.
Montgomery explained that Nigerian weddings can include both a traditional ceremony and a “white wedding.” She said she wanted any future celebration to reflect both her and Maxwell rather than asking one person to abandon their culture.
“When it comes to a wedding day, I feel like this is my big day. That is his big day,” she said. “So you definitely want to, you know, implement elements of both cultures, so everybody is happy.”
The blending of families also became part of that experience. Montgomery said her sisters arrived in Nigeria without knowing the full extent of what was happening because she intentionally kept details from them beforehand.
“They talk too much, girl,” she joked.
Looking back, however, she said she loved seeing their reactions.
Long-Distance Trust Starts With Faith
Distance presents another challenge for Ashia and Maxwell, but Montgomery said she has never believed she can personally control whether another person remains faithful or truthful.
“If God can’t keep you, I surely can’t,” she said.
Montgomery recalled one situation in which she felt something was wrong before Okeke admitted that an encounter involving a disagreement over money had become more serious than he initially disclosed.
She said Maxwell later appeared on FaceTime with an injury to his arm after falling while trying to get away from the situation.
“I’m like, really? Because the Holy Spirit telling me something different,” Montgomery recalled telling him.
The experience reinforced her belief that she has to rely on her spiritual discernment rather than trying to monitor her partner from another country.
That same faith, Montgomery said, helped quiet doubts about whether Maxwell was truly the man she should marry.
“You’re gonna have doubts,” she said. “Like devil be in your ear. You got your little angel. You got your little devil.”
Still, she said the repeated messages she believed she received about marriage, preparation and the Book of Esther gave her confidence.
“God was talking, because I know I felt like He did not want me to miss my season,” she said.
The K-1 Visa Became One Of Their Biggest Tests
When asked about the biggest obstacle the couple has encountered without spoiling the season, Montgomery immediately pointed to immigration.
“The visa, the K1 visa, getting denied,” she said.
That setback came on top of the challenges of distance, cultural differences and concerns from Maxwell’s family.
Montgomery said she believes his parents originally envisioned a different type of woman for their son, describing someone with less exposure to the world than she has had.
“I’m well traveled. I’m well educated,” she said.
She believes her age, knowledge and independence have contributed to concerns about whether she would respect Maxwell in the way his family expects.
Still, Montgomery said the experience has revealed something about herself that she may not have fully recognized before joining the show.
“Girl, you strong,” she said of what she has learned. “Like, you are strong, and you are brave.”
She has also learned how little outside opinions ultimately matter.
“I know who I am without a shadow of a doubt,” she said.
Ashia Has A Message For Women Still Waiting On Love
Despite the criticism, Montgomery does not want the experience to make her less accessible.
She said she hopes to remain the same relatable person she was before viewers began recognizing her.
“How can I tell people about God if I don’t even want people around me?” she said. “So you have to be relatable. You have to be humble. You got to be down to earth, so that you can connect with people one on one.”
For women who fear they have missed their opportunity to find love, Montgomery’s advice is centered on the same faith she credits with bringing Maxwell into her life.
“Just trust God,” she said. “Tell God what you desire because I had my list, honey.”
Montgomery said that list was specific, with the qualities she considered most important placed at the top. “Man of God,” she noted, appeared twice.
“Tell God what you desire, and line your life up with God,” she said. “If you are being obedient and you’re doing what He wants you to do, why would He deny you a good thing?”
Montgomery encouraged viewers to continue following her journey beyond the current season, promising there is more to come after the cameras stop rolling.
Fans can watch Ashia Montgomery and Maxwell Okeke’s story continue on 90 Day Fiancé, airing Sundays at 8 p.m. on TLC and streaming the following day on HBO Max.
